Jealousy, Frustration…I just want to kill Dragons

As I mentioned, my guild downed Madness of Deathwing last week. That was pretty sweet.

Destroyer's End

Awwww yeahhhhh

Earlier I was reading a post from a friend of mine, in which she mentions that her guild has Deathwing on farm now. They raid 4 hours per week – same as us. Thinking about this has caused all of my raiding frustrations to come bubbling back up. Comparing my guild to other guilds is obviously not particularly useful or helpful but I can’t seem to stop from doing it.

The road to finally downing Deathwing has been, at times, a very frustrating one. When I have no clue why we are failing, it’s frustrating. When we’re wiping on Ultraxion because people are failing to push the button, it’s frustrating. Especially when someone does it, is battle rezzed, and then does it again. My raid leader seems to like to logic his way through things instead of looking at available strats, which is fine, I guess, but when we’re on Madness this late in the game and he keeps having us kill the Blue platform second, it’s incredibly frustrating. I deal with all of these mostly by ranting on Twitter, and trying to figure out what I can do to improve the situation.

When we did finally kill Ultraxion, I got myself a sweet dragon

The one thing I can have the most direct effect on in a raid is DPS. I’m a hunter, I shoot things. I think I’m pretty good at shooting things. I switch targets when required, I use my cooldowns as effectively as I can, I pre-pot, I do everything that I can do to positively impact the raid. This included, when we couldn’t get past Ultraxion, switching to Survival, which I have never been before, and spending time on the target dummies and running heroics to get a feel for the rotation. I was raiding as Beast Mastery when Dragon Soul first dropped, because I was comfortable with it and it meant I got to use my favorite pet, Loque. No one asked me to respec – my guild is not like that. I did it on my own, and if I really hated Survival I would probably have gone back to BM or maybe tried MM again, although for some reason I’ve been struggling mightily with that this expansion. But it turns out I do enjoy Survival, and since respeccing I am consistently in the top 3 on the DPS meters. And let’s be honest, topping the meters can feel pretty sweet.

Hard to top those meters when Hagara is so in love with ice tombing me

And so we come to the part of raiding that causes me the most frustration and conflicted feelings.. I firmly believe that people should play in a way that is fun for them. Obviously if you are in a high end, hard mode, progression guild, you need to min max as much as possible. In a casual guild like mine, if your favorite mage spec is Frost then you go on with your bad self and raid as Frost. But when we are losing a DPS race, I look at that Frost mage, and I get incredibly frustrated. Sometimes I want to scream, “You’re a mage, you should not be 5th on the meters, what the hell!” As if that would be helpful.

Kael'thas

Kael'thas does his impression of me screaming about frost mages

The longer we wipe on any given fight, the angrier I get – with myself. The more frustrated I am with the raid team, the angrier I am at myself for thinking like an “elitist”…although I’m really not. I do get that other people just aren’t as obsessive about min/maxing everything they possibly can, and that is ok. Good enough is, in fact, good enough. If good enough to kill Deathwing isn’t good enough for me, I should probably start building that fortress of solitude because I’m clearly not fit for human company.

If you need me I'll be up here with everyone who is as cool as me, the elitist asshole.

I had been “consoling” myself with the thought that, since we were only raiding 4 hours per week, the fact that they never finished Firelands and that it’s taken us a while to down Deathwing were to be expected. (I say “they” in regard to Firelands because I was not part of the 10 man team for that tier.) Seeing “we have Deathwing on farm” in a blog post from someone who is raiding just as little as we are ruins that feeling.

I don’t have a good conclusion for this post. I’m not happy with our progression but I don’t really know what to do about that.

And hey, thanks to Twitter, I got to do Firelands anyway. I can’t really thank Blizzard enough for RealID raiding. Now if only they would hurry up and implement BattleTags.

So. Much. Fire.

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