Maeli, Destroyer’s End

Last week was quite eventful in the life of my hunter. On Thursday, my guild defeated Madness of Deathwing for the first time. It took us several attempts, and it was pretty close at the end, but we did it. As a bonus, I got to upgrade my Kiril from the raid finder version.

On Saturday, I went on a 25 man Firelands cross realm raid put together by Vidyala. It was the first time I’ve seen any of the bosses in there other than Shannox, and we did the whole thing. I died on the Ragnaros fight, but since I had only seen it in TankSpot videos before, I’m ok with that. As I said on Twitter, “There’s so much fire not to stand in or run through and everything is orange and OH GOD WHY”.

I picked up a crossbow and the tier 12 helm along the way. I don’t generally have helm display turned on, as I find most helms terribly ugly, and I love my sassy pigtails. But this one is pretty cool looking, and doesn’t look all that bad with my current transmog, either.

Other than raid nights I’ve spent most of my time playing my Tauren priest lately. She’s my “Get a Horde toon to 85 before Mists” project. Right now she’s in Nagrand, and seeing it from the Horde side for the first time is pretty awesome.

I’ve had a lot of things I’ve wanted to post about lately but never can seem to find the words, or the time. I would say I’m going to post more but with PAX East coming up this weekend I’ve got a lot to get done.

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Loot Meltdown

I ran LFR with some guildies last night. If you follow me on Twitter and happened to be up and reading it, you may have witnessed my little loot meltdown. I have since deleted most of it, as it was childish and I am embarrassed.

In the first half of Dragon Soul, only one piece of loot I could even use, a tier token, dropped. I did not win it.

Over the course of that first half, several guild mates got various upgrades, tier tokens, etc. This continued into the second half of DS. Another tier token dropped. I did not win it. I had said in Vent, when the loot windows popped up, “If I don’t win that helm token I’m rage quitting.” Well…a guild mate won it. And I was unable to be happy for him. I was angry, and frustrated, and raging at RNG. I whispered my closest guild friend “I suppose it would be poor form to rage quit over a guildie winning that, huh?”

We got to Madness, and Deathwing dropped Kiril, Fury of Beasts, which is an awesome polearm. One of my guild mates rolled need (a druid, so he got the +role bonus on it) specifically so that I would have an extra shot at winning it. He won, and traded it to me. That was very nice of him, and it felt good to not be empty handed at the end of my weekly LFR, for once.

But I’ve been sitting here thinking about my absolute rage over LFR loot. It is actually worse, I’ve found, when I run with people from my guild. This does not make me feel like a particularly good person. Instead of being happy for my friends getting upgrades, I just get more and more jealous and butthurt about RNG hating me. As I sit here pondering this and feeling pretty much like an asshole about it, I’ve come up with at least one reason for it.

Most, if not all, of the guild folks who are likely to be in the group running LFR on Tuesday nights are part of the regular 10 man that runs on Wednesdays and Thursdays. They have their weekly opportunity for loot from every boss in LFR, plus a weekly opportunity for something from whatever bosses they get through on Normal mode. I am a backup/standby person for that raid. So I go into every Tuesday with the distinct possibility that LFR will be my only chance at raid loot for the week. So every roll that I lose is another week of waiting to try again.

Now, one could argue that the folks who are part of the regular 10 man need the gear more than I do. That’s a good argument. They’re getting more “use” out of it. Sitting here now not in the middle of watching my once a week chance at tier gear slip away, I absolutely get that. But jealousy and frustration at the nature of RNG and the one chance per week nature of LFR loot does not make for rational thought.

An additional frustration of LFR loot is that every week, you have the same chance at winning. Every week you are rolling against a new group of strangers. When you are part of a regular raid group, you still go plenty of weeks without getting any new gear. However, you also know that as your raid team gears up, your chances of getting your tier tokens or other gear that might be shared among other classes increases. Your chances in LFR never increase. I might roll on hunter tokens every week from now until Mists of Pandaria comes out, and never win one, because there will always be another person in the LFR group still building their tier set as well.

I don’t know if there’s a solution to this problem. I do wish there was a possibility of rolling on things more than once per week in LFR. Maybe keep it that you can only win loot off a given boss once per week, but you can roll more often. Once a day, maybe. Now that all the world firsts are over, I don’t think there should be worry about people gearing up “too fast”.

If I want to keep enjoying LFR – and I do actually enjoy it – I need to somehow let go of this anger about gear. Phase one of this effort is gearing up the rest of my 85s (mage, priest, druid) to be LFR ready. Which really will just put me in the position of losing more rolls every week, most likely. But maybe if I’m doing it on characters who’ve never raided before, as opposed to my beloved hunter, it will feel a little less shitty. We shall see.